i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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