Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
