Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
