So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
