she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
