if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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