woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
