Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
