So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
