i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
