i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
