That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we're making bets on your personal life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
