I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
