stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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