"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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