dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
