Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
