why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
