I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
