Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
