Duck Duck Cougar?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
