dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
