repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
