Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
