somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
