I'm gonna have a badass scar
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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