please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
