i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
