I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
