What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
