I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so let's talk penis.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're like the curious george of whores
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
