i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
