He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
