You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
