the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
