I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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