According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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