whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
