Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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