She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
