She is in my trunk
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
