we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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