Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
