matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
