yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
