i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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