I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I believe in your delicious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
