Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
