yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
