I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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